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Get over it. I have to. I will.

It’s funny how “stuff” work it’s way up and down in my life. I’m sure this probably holds true for many other people as well. It has too…


one minutes you’re on cloud 9 then BAM


and it sucks being there.

A year ago I was making payments on a nice 2nd owner car. I had the man. Money was nothing, I dropped $100+ on drugs daily. I had it all.

Well, I made a decision and gave the drugs up. It was hell. But I did it. I was now barely hanging on to the relationship my drug abuse had destroyed.

I relapsed and there was no looking back.

It’s a vicious cycle, our lives can change in an instant.


So the moral of the story?

I think that we need to appreciate what we do have. Sobriety (and relapse) along with being so broke you have to consider eating a cactus, has humbled me.

Remember that we can control the way we feel.

I realized that finally.

If we want it bad enough we will go for it. We control what happens.

So I let go and just went with the flow.

And guess what? I got what I wanted.

It does work.

I will master this… I’m more determined than ever.

I finally asked myself “Why keep fighting?” Id he won;t fight with me, why would I cotinue to give it my all? Oh, but a broken heart does hurt.

—- one of the hardest years of my twenty seven years on this rock spinning around the sun (and no users manual).

originally posted on my other blog (


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Beta Nerd

When I was in the sixth grade I did a science fair project on Lucid Dreaming which ended up being incredibly frustrating for a couple of reasons: (1) the internet wasn’t then what it is now so I only had info from library books and the Encarta Encyclopedia to work with and both were skeptical, and (2) The only good book I had had instructions on how to become a lucid dreamer which failed miserably.

To this day I long to dream lucidly which is why this article caught my attention. Does it work? I’m not sure I can deal with the disappointment I felt in the sixth grade, so you will have to let me know. The original article can be found at

Guaranteed to work, but you have to stick with it. Sometimes it takes a person only a week to have their first lucid dream from…

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